Feeding mosquito . :B
@38,
Nobody would want to turn on the light for me , untill i does it myself .
-
1week since i last blog .
Days passed,
Times flies .
A blink of an eye , Its april .
Im just last than half a year to O's .
& Frankly speaking .
I've freaking no mood to sit down & study .
I couldn't concentrate .
I've tried all ways ,
Its to no avail .
I had enough .
I couldn't flunk .
If i want to flunk , in th first place , i should just enrolled into a higher nitec course .
And not dangling in sec5 for 4months .
If i've choosen sec5 as my right path , I shhould've studied since January .
Great , I did studied .
After seeing my results , MSG dropped tremendously .
totally lost all my morale and motivation and whatever think that're moving me these years.
' I feel lik ending my life . ' this thought had been popping in and out of mind every min&secs.
Especially during th time when i feel like cryingg .
Forcing myself to retaliate to the tears is like nearly impossible .
Sometimes i ever wonder , If i'm studying for myself or parents ?
I've become th ParadeMarker for Speechday`2011.
Kinda excited & nervous .
Been trainnning to shout commands out loud .
Nomatter how LOUD i shout , People still could not hear .
Goshh , I know i can do it . I can (Y) .
-
Went out w. Zy & cliques to kite-flyinggggggggggggggggggggggggg ,
Its funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn .
I couldn't feel the happiness within me .
Nomatter how i do ,
Nomatter how crazy i am .
The hyperness,Crazyness only withhold few hours ?
After dey've gone , Im alone .
Minds' runnning thru my mind like a racing car .
Weird images popping out here and there .
I had enough,serious .
I feel lik getting out of this planet lik RIGHT AWAY, STRAIGHT AWAY ,
Can i just take my O's & Get off this f* sch .
I come back just to take my O's .
I dont deserve all this shyt you guys gave me .
Patience has its limits .
Doesn't mean that i nvr raise up my voice means that im a coward.
Get thatt ?!?
-
Sigh , Speechday Rehearsal tml againzxz .
I wan a true friend , Who doesn't ?
I wan a listening ear , Who doesn't ?
I wan somebody where i can lie on,shop with , MOST IMPTLY , Is that , she could tolerate my nonsense , Is tt difficult ?
Sigh ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Maybe im just fated to be alone for th rest of my life ,
I miss the 'kiddy'me' .
The 'me' where im oblivious to the surroundings .
All i' wanted in life was , Papa,Mama,Ahgong,Ahma,Uncle&Aunties to be happy .
How naive i was , back then ..
Actually , its aint bad as well .
At least i would not have to sufffer under all this nonsense&rubbish .
Being naive at times , the feeling is great .
Wanting to suffer under the pain alone , its useless.
-
Sometimes life need to have a cooldown-period .
Just to reflect what you have done before this period & how to improve and improvise a better 'you' in the next period .
0 comments :
Post a Comment