我们都变了.

11:42:00 PM YILIN (: 0 Comments

Hey readers! I think this is normal right. Everything changes. Nothing is constant. It was just a week, and so much has changed. I grew up. I walk out. Yeap. Rambling over twitter and fb wont help much . Hmmm, where should I start?

Those who know me, should know that I actually had a hard time walking out from that r/s. Oh wait, can i even call it as a r/s? When someone is in love, you don't really care about status and stuffs. Cos all you want is to be with that person. Right? It took me 2 years, to actually figure out where am I standing. 2 years might not be called as long for you guys, but for me? Its long enough. It actually took up 3/4 of my Poly life. YES. POLY LIFE.

Before I even entered poly, the friends around me at that point of time was telling me that, " Poly life is the life where you can enjoy and have fun. Have lotsa of fun. Date countless of guys. Nobody will blame you for that. Because after Poly, its either you enter Uni, or Society. In both worlds, you can't enjoy and have fun. You can't date as many guys as you want anymore. People judge. So, go on now. Enjoy." I didn't really care so much or should I say, I don't really bother what they say. I just reply for the sake of replying. Maybe I'll say, and act like I really want to have fun and date countless of guys. But, at the back of mind, there's always you appearing. And also, I don't want to lose you. So whenever there's you appearing, I immediately stopped whatever I'm doing.

I put you first in everything. I learnt how to bake, cook, do handicrafts. ALL THESE, is not what I WOULD WANT to do in the past. It wasn't me at all. The me, in the past, was just a normal girl that hates girly stuffs. All I want to do in the past is have fun. Having a date/boyf in the past, its always the guys that do things for me. I never do a single thing for them at all. Sometimes, I would even forget whats the occasion. But you, I would note down every single occasion or date we had. I even had a diary just for me to write out how the date went with you. I KNOW ITS STUPID GUYS. I KNOW, But its a way for me to let out. Because there's no one for me to tell. or talk to. OR , I don't trust the people around me that much for me to let out all these to them. IM SORRY FRIENDS.

I never had the courage to tell people around me whats going through my mind or who i went out with ytd, Because I don't feel the need. And also, I don't want to be judged. I know even the friends around me will judge me behind my back. I know. So? I can't do anything to prevent it right? :-) And at that point of time, I've no status. I can't introduce him to my friends proudly saying that, "oh, he's actually my date". I can't say that. Partly because I've Z-E-R-O courage when it comes to r/s . And I can't label myself as a "girl-being-chased" as well. Because its ON-OFF.The chase is not a continuous cycle. Its a on-off cycle.

I don't know how or why Im okay with it in the past. But nevermind. Its over. Now I know, and yes definitely I regretted waiting for 2years. But in this 2 years, I really learnt alot. Thank you. ;-) I'll be a better and nice person to the next person that'll appreciate me. Ofcause, all the memories we once had since 2012, it'll all be kept. :-) Because all the memories is worth it. and Its sweet. It brings a smile to my face. So i thank you for that.You made me have a higher expectation of a guy now. :-)

I'll be strong. I'll stand up soon. Because I'll be stronger now. Alone. A girl can be successful too. I don't need a man to be beside me to keep me going. Yes. I might feel lonely at times. But who don't? A girl have to love themselves first before loving others. Loving yourself doesn'\t mean buying expensive things, but my definition of loving yourself is doing something you like. Have some alone-me-time to spend with yourself. Go for a jog alone, Go for a swim alone. Or , be like me. When I want to have a alone-me-time, I would head down to town to shop awhile. Not to shop actually, I look for nice food. I walk and eat at the same time, and I'll head down to Borders(IN THE PAST), now I'll head down to Kinokuniya to search for novels. Sometime, I would even walk down the street alone w/o knowing where's my end point. Just to clear my head. Just a few suggestions. :-)

Its late now. I've to sleep. IPP tomorrow. Till then, See you guys! <33333 nbsp="" p="">
Before you close the browser, y'll might wanna take a look at me. HAHAHA Like how i look like in the past, when i was 16. HAHAHAA. Good night! :-)

P/S: It was the Railway station. I miss the time we used to talk and hangout all the time, ZIWEI . :-(